Do I have a girl for you?

The start of many a cheesy romantic comedy involves a scene where the middle aged single guy is set up with a procession of women by his married, well intentioned but horribly inappropriate friends. There's always a montage of the craziness that ensues as a procession of imbalanced, kooky, clingy, obsessive women date our hapless gentleman.

I'm getting worried that such a campaign may be percolating in the minds of some of my acquaintances. The signs are there and I'm starting to furtively glance over my shoulder when in public.

A few weeks ago a guy I know took me out for lunch after I had helped him with a computer problem. "Sweet" i thought, not being the sort of guy to pass up a free curry. We had a good time discussing church, politics, sport. Then, with a succulent piece of madras chicken inches from my mouth, I was faced with... "so, you're not morally opposed to marriage are you?" The couple at the table three feet from ours paused their conversation and glanced in morbid curiosity at us as I spluttered incoherently. What do you say to that.... well, I mean what do you say without being rude to that? It's maybe hard for some people to understand that being single may be a more complex issue than simply deciding it would be a good idea. For one thing, it's generally easier to get married if you actually have a woman.

The next 10 minutes were taken up with me listening politely to a story about a very nice girl my friend knew and some general information about previous matchmaking success. Interestingly, it was never discussed that he wanted to match me to anyone.... but it was implied... I'm not that slow.

Then, this last weekend I was talking with another married friend who out of the blue informed me that he had been telling a girl all about me. "oh... ok" i stammered, "that's nice". "Good looking, tall", he said. "Great", say I unsure what else to say. Once again nothing more was offered so now I'm left wondering what to expect next. I'm popping breath mints like they're going out of fashion just in case I'm suddenly snatched from the street and bundled off to mystery date. Every time I walk into a room I'm clandestinely looking around wondering if "she" is there... whoever "she" is.

So no, I'm not opposed to marriage. I'd very much like to meet a good woman. But at the same time i'm getting nervous about what my friends are up to.